imagine if one day jesus and his disciples were eating bread and wine and shit and jesus didn’t even use a fork and peter was just like “dude were you born in a barn”
and jesus just
I’m always nice to the weird kids so when they shoot up the school I’ll be spared
she wears short skirts. i am john f kennedy. shes cheer captain and im john f kennedy
it’s so hard when you place all of your hopes and dreams and insecurities and happiness within one person because when they start to let you down over and over again you begin to crumble until you have no hopes or dreams or happiness and you’re just an insecure mess left with no one to talk to
when people say guess what do they actually expect me to go and guess what like am I meant to guess every single thing ever like ok I guess you had toast for breakfast ye and they are like no I just found 63c on the ground outside a supermarket and it was raining and I slipped over and got this cut on my knee and now it’s infected and I have disease that’s what u were meant to guess and I just sit there exhaling
i’ve seen alot of posts on this site making fun of emos, and, i would just like to give my two sense about the whole thing:
1. emos aren’t stupid, they lay some of the biggest eggs of many birds
2. emos ca’nt fly, so it makes them feel bad when you insult them, because again, they can’t fly away to feel better
3. emos have a very large wingspan
someone needs to write a book entitled
what to do when you think your boyfriend is about to break up with you
Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
she wears short skirts I wear the skin of all those who dare defy me
omg no fucking way
you guys don’t have red skins or bubble o’bills or minties?
and tim tams or tiny teddies or milo?
and fairy bread or caramello koalas or crunchies or cherry ripes or WIZZ FIZZES?
HOW DO YOU LIVE OHMYGOD.
YOU’VE ALL BEEN HIDING UNDER A ROCK.
i feel like someone just shouted gibberish at me then got upset when i didn’t understand
Welcome to Australia!
some people make me so mad like i just want to punch myself in the face
if someone doesnt like being touched and you just go ahead and touch them anyways because you think its funny i sincerely hope you get punched in the god damn face
- me: finishes book
- me: slowly closes book
- me: THROWS BOOK ACROSS ROOM
- me: PTERODACTYL NOISE